


Boredom

by ThatMasterOnline



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-20 21:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30011283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatMasterOnline/pseuds/ThatMasterOnline
Summary: Zagreus is bored. Everone says the same things, the blessings are all the same. Chaos offers him a change, and he eagerly accepts.Chaos ensues, and somehow that is the least surprising thing of all.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	1. Altered Hearing

He enters Chaos, just for fun. Even though it hurts to enter. Sometimes he says, quite literally, "Might as well" when he enters, because really, what's the harm? Why shouldn't he? If he's trying to make life difficult for himself - and the Pact is  _ certainly  _ doing that - then Chaos is just another way he makes his life slightly more difficult. It's hardly a problem, is what's he's trying to say. And it all comes to a head, coincidentally, on a visit to Chaos.

"How fares this endless cycle of days for you, Son of Hades? Sufficiently amusing, I should hope?"

"...No."

That's it. That's the problem. He's  _ bored _ . 

Chaos's mouth twists down into a genuine frown, because for a being so powerful as Chaos, boredom must be the only problem they face. And, therefore, boredom is not a trivial thing, it is a genuine  _ problem _ , one that must be remedied. Immediately, if the look on Chaos's face is any indication.

"I am truly sorry to hear that, Son of Hades. Describe your boredom to me, and I will attempt to remedy it."

"...Everything is the same," he finally says, after some thought, "Sure there are different blessings, but I've seen them all before, I know what they do, I know which ones I like and which I don't, the chambers are all the same, I've seen all the enemies before, and either I have a good selection of blessings or I don't. Life only starts getting difficult around Elysium, but even the difficulties are the same. I know everything, already. At least, as far as escapes from the Underworld are concerned," he adds, not wanting to genuinely insinuate he knows  _ everything  _ to a being like Chaos. "...Even the people at the House are all starting to say the same things. Achilles and Patroclus, most of all, but...everyone. ...Everyone." Knowing that Achilles and Patroclus have nothing new to say to him hurts perhaps most of all.

"I see," Chaos says, "Then I shall alter your hearing. Should you need further amusement, you need only ask."

"Of course, master Chaos."

"And you shall have no memory of this encounter. It shall be much more amusing when you are unaware, is that not correct?"

"That is definitely correct. Thank you, master Chaos."

"Thank me when the distraction has proven sufficiently entertaining."

He's excited for something to happen, inexplicably, but the next chamber is the same. As is the next, as is the next.

_ Shouldn't the witches be making sounds like Cerberus's chew toy?  _ he asks himself, then frowns at the thought.

The next chamber is also the same. Until it isn't.

"You know, young man, I was thinking lightning should be made out of paper," Zeus says, and Zagreus blinks, and doesn't say anything. Perhaps he'd...heard wrong? Perhaps Zeus had actually said 'lightning should make your day brighter' or something. 

Except, it keeps happening. Every time a god speaks to him.

"You know, Zag, I was thinking Atlas ought to stand on the earth instead of hold it up," Dionysus says to him, with the exact same grin on his face he always has.

"One day I should very much like to fight you to the death," Ares muses, and Zagreus smiles, because that's not even out of character for him.

He chooses Artemis over Demeter, and when she appears to start killing him, it's apparently for choosing to wear red today.

"What do you think would happen if we had hot, passionate sex in front of our visitor?" He hears Patroclus ask, and somehow, they both cock their heads at him in confusion when he appears, flushed down to his neck and covering his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Is the sky purple, stranger?" Patroclus asks, and Zagreus can only stare. He looks up at the sky before very slowly saying, "N...no...sir...it's blue. Same as...always?" Patroclus frowns at him.

"I meant, do you have money?"

"I...have...three hundred and eighty-four obols...sir?" Achilles is looking at him with genuine concern now, and Zagreus is very,  _ very  _ sure they're having a miscommunication somewhere.

"Eat a crown, lad," Achilles says, and Zagreus can't help it; he laughs, and the look on Achilles's face becomes barely-concealed panic.

"Eat...what?" He gasps, and Achilles puts a hand on his forehead. It's nice, and Zagreus sighs and leans into it.

"You're not on a roll…" Achilles murmurs to himself.

"I am very much on a roll, sir, this is the most fun I've had in ages."

"Perhaps a couple of twinks would do him some good," Patroclus says, and Achilles looks scandalized as Zagreus bursts into another fit of laughter.

"Pat!"

"If everything looks long after being whipped by a twink, then we get him a twink and be done with it."

"All...ahahaha...All good in theory, sir, aha! But...where are you going to find a twink, much less two of them?" Patroclus snorts out a laugh.

"I'm going to get hotter bricks," Achilles says, and vanishes.

"Why don't you look at the sky, stranger?" Patroclus asks, and Zagreus looks up.

"It  _ is  _ a nice sky," he concedes, and lays down on his back. Patroclus pulls him into his lap and starts to stroke his hair.

"This effect will last even after your trip through the Styx," Patroclus says, and Zagreus looks up at him, serious. 

"What?" Patroclus frowns at him.

"You are sufficiently amused, are you not?" It's Patroclus's voice, but...this is Chaos speaking to him, he's sure.

"Of course I am, this is fantastic, but...why?"

"For your amusement. Do you require another reason?" Zagreus grins.

"Of course not." He shuffles and makes himself comfortable in Patroclus's lap, and Patroclus sighs and resumes stroking his hair.

"Wouldn't miss this for the world…" Patroclus says.

"I have to agree with you there, sir," he replies, but then Patroclus looks up, and Zagreus glances over to see Achilles  _ and  _ Nyx.

"Nyx?" Zagreus says, and sits up.

"Have you seen any feathers, child?" Nyx asks.

"Feathers? No...I...can't say that I have. Saw a butterfly ball in the chamber before this one, though. Two, in fact." Nyx kneels before him.

"I...have seen...a feather," she tells him, firmly and in all seriousness, and Zagreus furrows his brows.

"That's...good?" Is she worried about him?

"I'm fine, Nyx, really. Just something wrong with my hearing, that's all." She ignores him.

"I must get a ball rolling," Nyx says, and puts her hands on his face.

"I'm...not a ball…" Zagreus says, thoroughly confused, because once he was old enough to walk he could count the number of times Nyx touched him on one hand.

"Owls go 'hoo'?" Achilles asks.

"What's an owl?" Zagreus asks, "And why does it go 'hoo'?" Behind him, Patroclus starts quivering with laughter.

" _ Stop it _ , Pat, this is serious!"

"I told you, I'm fine," Zagreus reassures him, and Achilles grants him an acknowledging nod before glaring at Patroclus, who shrugs.

"...Give my regards to Nyx," Nyx says, and Zagreus looks at her, eyes wide.

"Child?" she asks.

"...Er...Master Chaos sends his regards."

"Where are you during the game, child?"

"What? What game?"

"You see, he hasn't got any money," Achilles says.

"I said I had three hundred and eighty-four obols, isn't that enough?" Nyx sighs.

"I want him to have a grouse," Nyx says. Achilles bows his head solemnly, and Nyx vanishes. Patroclus tugs his arm, and Zagreus looks around. Even Patroclus looks serious now.

"Bubbles are flat," he says, patting his thigh. Zagreus shifts closer to him, and Patroclus gives him an encouraging nod. 

"Bubbles are round," Zagreus says, as he moves to lie in Patroclus's lap again. 

"Of course they are, stranger," Patroclus says.

And then there is pain in his neck, and Zagreus dies.

He crawls out of the pool of Styx, and Hypnos is there.

"Welcome to the House of Hades, and I fly!" Hypnos greets him, and Zagreus smiles.

"Good for you, mate," he says, and decides he ought to enjoy this. How did he die, though? He was with Achilles and Patroclus...Accident, maybe.

"Child." Nyx says, coming up to him.

"Oh, hello, Nyx. Do you know how I died?" Nyx looks away.

"The red is caused by a bee, to give you a grouse." she says.

"The red was caused by a what to give me a what?" She looks at him, and then suddenly Zagreus staggers as memories of his earlier encounter with Chaos come flooding back.

"Whoa!" Hypnos says, and catches him, "You really had it rough, huh?"

"I...Chaos…" He looks at Nyx. "Chaos did this to me, I asked them to. I...I was bored, everyone was saying the same thing, and Chaos offered to alter my hearing."

"Chaos did this?"

"Yes."

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes, I can understand you just fine." Nyx sighs.

"Please inform Achilles, when next you visit them."

"Will do. So...how did I die?"

"I requested they kill you, in the hopes that it would cause the spell to fade."

"Snapped neck!" Hypnos interjects, "Patroclus has some  _ really  _ strong hands."

"It seems Chaos themselves was the only one capable of removing it," Nyx adds.

"Well, I'll have to thank them, later. I had a blast!"

"Why did you not inform Achilles and Patroclus?"

"I couldn't remember. Chaos said they'd wipe my memory because it'd be more fun that way."

"Please request they do not, in future, if such a thing is possible."

"Got it." Nyx vanishes.

"Hey, Hypnos? What's a bee? And what's a grouse? And why do owls go 'hoo'?" Hypnos beams at him.

"Not a clue!"


	2. Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Eiiiji gave me the idea for the second chapter, and things still aren't quite wrapped up, so there will be a short, mostly cute and funny third chapter as well.

"I hope your journey was sufficiently entertaining?" Chaos says to him the next time he visits.

"It was absolutely amazing, Master Chaos, although...I worried my friends, so next time - and there will be a next time - I'd like to keep my memory, so I can tell them not to worry."

"That is acceptable. You will not be repeating the experience now, then?"

"Not this time around. I need to have a talk with Achilles and Patroclus."

"I understand. Very well, son of Hades, when you require entertainment, you need only ask."

***

"He will recover, Achilles," he overhears Patroclus say, when he enters their glade next, "He likely already has." Zagreus jogs up to them.

"I know, I know, I just- Zagreus." Achilles straightens immediately as though he were at the House, and Patroclus cannot quite meet his eyes.

"Hey, sirs! I'm all better now! Say anything, I'll know exactly what you're saying!"

"Did the journey through the Styx fix things?" Zagreus looks at Patroclus, and he suddenly wants to lie, to say yes, to assure Pattoclus that he was right to kill him, because that made everything better. He deliberates, so strong is the urge. There's a noticeable pause as he hesitates, and Achilles's countenance darkens, which is so far from the intended effect that he spills immediately.

"No, no, I understood the question! I just...I was...thinking I should lie. Guess I can't now. See, the journey through the Styx...didn't fix things. I knew they wouldn't, you told me so yourself, but...I didn't know what you were talking about. Chaos was the one who finally removed the blessing. And…Chaos was the one who gave me the blessing, too. I...should maybe sit down, this is going to take a while." Achilles nods, and they sit.

"...Lay your head in my lap, Zagreus," Patroclus says. Zagreus knows he  _ could  _ say something about the last time he laid his head in Patroclus's lap, but even as a joke a comment like that would be in  _ incredibly  _ poor taste. So instead he smiles, and lets himself relax.

"I'd really like that." And it's not a lie. Whatever had been wrong with him, it had prompted Achilles and Patroclus to give him tender touches, and he remembers, for the briefest of moments, feeling incredibly grateful for it. The thought had vanished a moment later though, forgotten in favour of trying to figure out what they were talking about.

He lays down in Patroclus's lap - and makes just the tiniest show of stretching his neck out, to prove to Patroclus that it's alright and Zagreus won't hold a grudge - and closes his eyes. He's not tense, how could he be, and he thinks that goes farther for proving to Patroclus that he still trusts him completely than any little display he could make. He decides to let actions speak louder than words, and just closes his eyes to rest. He could fall asleep like this. He even thinks he will.

"...Lad?"

"Hm?"

"You said you were going to explain."

"Explain? Explain-  _ oh _ ." His eyes open, and he jerks. "Sorry, sorry, I got distracted by...how nice it was to...have someone touching me like this."

"...Achilles tells me I have a gift for that. ...Helping people relax with my touch," he clarifies, when Zagreus makes a questioning sound. "He says I have a presence so calming others can't help but be soothed by it."

"That sounds about right," Zagreus says, and he yawns shortly after by virtue of that same presence, but then he decides he ought to get his head screwed on straight and explain.

"Erm...So, I was bored, is the long and short of it," Zagreus says, "Everybody was saying the same things to me, all the time. Quick, short words of encouragement, that's it. I knew all the blessings the gods could give me, all the chambers, all the enemies...The Pact was making life  _ difficult _ , but not  _ interesting.  _ When I told Chaos as much, that everyone was saying the same things, they offered to alter my hearing, and of course I accepted. They wiped my memory of the encounter, for the experience to be more fun. And it was, it was fantastic...but I've asked Chaos not to wipe my memory in future, so that I can explain what's happening. I...felt bad for upsetting you, after. But, anyway...I think Chaos was watching me the whole time. The Styx didn't fix the problem, Hypnos was telling me he flew, and Nyx was talking about the red being caused by a bee, whatever that is. But, almost immediately after...My memories all came back, and I could hear properly. They must have decided that letting it go on would have been bad. At any rate, Nyx told me that...she had you kill me, to see if the journey through the Styx would wash it away like it always does. I...I'm...sorry. I'm sorry my actions made it necessary for you to kill me like you did, Patroclus, and...I'm sorry I can't give you the comfort of knowing that your actions magically fixed everything. I...I wish I was a better liar."

"I don't," Patroclus said, "Whatever the truth is, I want to hear it, always. Never feel you need to hide anything from me, Zagreus. Even if the truth hurts, tell me. I promise I won't fall apart."

"...You couldn't even look at me, earlier…" Zagreus says quietly, and Patroclus sighs.

"Funnily enough, killing someone you've come to care for is not pleasant, even if it's necessary." Patroclus sighs again, and places a hand on his shoulder. "I don't regret killing you, Zagreus, because I thought it would fix things, and even if it didn't, had you not recovered it still would have led to Nyx doing everything in her power to reverse the effects. I don't regret trying to help you...and besides, snapping your neck doesn't even come close to being the worst thing I've done, in my existence. What I regretted most...was damaging the relationship we had. Nyx told us to kill you, bring you back to the House the forceful way, and yet you laid your head in my lap without any hesitation because you knew that even if you couldn't understand, no harm would befall you. And I broke that. You trusted me with your life, and not only did I fail, I was the one to kill you. Even if it was necessary, you didn't understand what was happening. The blind trust in your eyes when I laid my hands on your head, intending to kill…" Patroclus bows his head.

"That's why I couldn't look at you. How could you possibly trust me enough to let me within arms' reach, after that? Necessary or not, you would never let me hold you again, not for a long time. You could never forget what I did, even if I knew you'd forgive it in a heartbeat. It...it was selfish of me to ask you to lay in my lap. You were afraid of me, or you should have been, and I should have given you space, kept a respectful distance, but I didn't. I...I wanted to prove to you that your trust in me wasn't misplaced, that I would never again raise my hand to you, that my hands would give only the gentlest of caresses...and I let my own selfish wants come before your comfort."

"I think you're forgetting something, sir," Zagreus says, and reaches up to hold his face briefly, "That the word 'no' exists. I wouldn't ever be rude about it, of course, but if I had been too afraid to go near you I would have said so. Something like 'I'd prefer not to, Patroclus, sir...sorry…' and you would have understood, wouldn't you?"

"Of course. I'd have been heartbroken...but I would never have pushed the matter."

"Exactly. But that's not what happened. You invited me into your lap, and I came eagerly, because I  _ wanted _ to have my head in your lap, wanted your fingers in my hair...and I wanted to prove that you didn't need to worry, that I still trusted you completely. In that sense...we both wanted to prove something. And I think we both proved it. You've shown that I can trust you, and I've shown that I  _ do  _ trust you...and that's enough, isn't it?" Patroclus smiles, and lays his hands on his face.

"Yes, Zagreus, that's enough." Patroclus starts to scratch his fingers in Zagreus's scalp, and Zagreus sighs in utter bliss.

"You're going to...make me...fall asleep...if you keep that up…"

"That so?" Patroclus says quietly. "Then go ahead." His hands stop briefly, to caress Zagreus's face, and his thumbs gently rub Zagreus's cheeks, "I won't let anything happen to you. Not here." Zagreus hums, but he's falling farther and farther toward sleep with each passing moment, and when Patroclus resumes scratching his scalp, he's gone not long after.


	3. Nap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I was over soft PatZagChilles.
> 
> I was not.

One of the perks of being dead is that your limbs don't get tired from being in one place for too long anymore. What that means is that despite the fact that Zagreus's nap is quickly starting to look like a full day or night's slumber, Patroclus is not at all inclined to move, and very content to let Zagreus use his crossed legs for a pillow. Achilles, having taken up residence beside them with his head on Patroclus's shoulder, is not particularly inclined to move either. And Zagreus, with his head on a broad thigh, his shoulders on Patroclus's crossed legs, and his body stretched out in the Elysian grass, well...it would be more surprising if he  _ did  _ move.

"He's precious," Achilles murmurs.

"He's taking a nap, love."

"And if you knew the half of how much trouble it is to get this lad to sleep  _ at all _ , you'd agree with me."

"Naps are rare, then?"

"Naps are  _ unheard of _ ,  _ entirely _ . In all my years of being essentially a surrogate father to him I never once saw him sleep." Zagreus shifts, ever so slightly.

His head rolls from one side to the other, and his arm, previously at his side, comes up to rest beside his head, fingers just skimming the outside of Pateoclus's thigh. Achilles lets out a breath.

"I cannot express in words how cathartic it is to just watch this lad finally get the rest he needs," he says.

"Thankfully you've nothing to do for the rest of the day, isn't that correct?"

"Lord Hades gave me the day off, the better to sort out what happened. Perhaps he feels I'll be distracted at work if I'm concerned for him."

"Let's not question it, love. Just watch your little ward sleep, and take in as much of this good thing as your heart can hold." Achilles sighs, and shifts on Patroclus's shoulder, then lays a hand on Patroclus's and strokes the back with a thumb.

"And you, my heart? Is your mind still clouded by thoughts of Zagreus?"

"Yes and no. With him in my lap, and having seen for myself that his trust in me has not wavered in the slightest, it's easy for me to put the matter in the past, where it belongs. But, at the same time, the memories surface easily, and they are painful."

"These memories are hours old, my heart. They need time to fade. And they will. With every passing moment, try as they might to stay at the front of your mind, they will fade to oblivion, where they belong. Before you know it the matter will have been a century ago and not even worth mentioning."

"You have a pretty way with words today, darling," Patroclus says, as Zagreus stretches. His body tenses, and arches, and trembles, and his face contorts in that delightful pleasure that only a good stretch can bring. And then he relaxes with a sigh, and decides he isn't quite ready to wake up yet. He yawns, and rolls over onto his side, and fusses and shifts until he finds a comfortable position, clutching at the thigh under his head. He yawns again, and when he relaxes Patroclus puts a hand on his neck to gently scratch until his breathing is slow and deep once again.

"Precious," Achilles murmurs again.

"To glide seamlessly from one nap into another...in our mortal days, we'd have called that laziness."

"Yes, but in Zagreus's case it's called much-needed, and well-deserved, and 'do not disturb him because there's no telling how long it will be before he sleeps again and he needs as much rest as he can get'." Patroclus lets out a breath of laughter, and they lapse into silence, for a time.

"I  _ have  _ been thinking, though…" Achilles begins.

"Mm."

"Perhaps we ought to...do more. Stop and talk with the lad, invite him to our home, play games with him, even. If all of this started because he was bored...I'd like to take care for it not to happen again."

"Mm. You've got a point. Not sure how much we two can do, though. He mentioned being bored of the same chambers, the same blessings…"

"But perhaps we can stave off another boredom-induced Chaos trip. For a time."

"Perhaps you're right." Patroclus runs a hand through Zagreus's hair. "I think he's plenty content for now, though."

"And-"  _ And thank the gods for that _ , Achilles is about to say, but at that exact moment Zagreus starts to shiver. A shudder wracks his body and he curls up into a tight ball, discomfort clear on his face. He shivers again, and Achilles takes off his cloak to lay it on top of Zagreus. He tucks it under him, squeezes his arms soothingly, and Zagreus, with his body now protected from the offending breeze, calms slowly.

Achilles pokes Patroclus.

"Just had to say something, didn't you?" he says, and Patroclus rolls his eyes.

"So cruel to me, my Achilles," he says, and Achilles grins.

"Oh, hush."

Later, Zagreus rolls onto his back again. His hands go up beside Patroclus's thighs, then back down, then back up again, like he can't quite decide what's most comfortable. Finally he stops. He shifts one or two more times, then stills. 

"Our prince," Patroclus says, "Such a silly one, sometimes."

This comment is prompted by the fact that Zagreus's shifting had moved the cloak up over his chin until it covered his eyes.

"Silly, yes, but undeniably precious," Achilles replies, and pulls the cloak down under his chin.

Immediately Zagreus starts to fuss again, tossing his head this way and that to put the cloak up again. Achilles chuckles as Patroclus says, "Oh, alright then, needy thing," and covers Zagreus's face with the cloak.

Zagreus relaxes again almost immediately.

Some time later Zagreus stirs. He mumbles, and stretches, and pulls down the cloak and immediately winces as the Elysian glow hits his eyes. He sits up and blinks slowly to help his eyes adjust to the light, and then finally he yawns.

"How long was I asleep?" he asks.

"A good long while," Achilles says, and he sounds immensely happy about that fact. Zagreus hums.

"Oh, by the way, sir, I was wondering...What's a grouse? And what's a bee? And what's an owl, and why does it go 'hoo'?"

"...He's joking."

"He's never been on the surface, Pat. You see, lad, a grouse it a type of bird. It's about this big, and is covered in little feathers. It's brown, and sometimes spotted. A bee is a little thing, about this big…"


End file.
